Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Google is Skynet

For those of you who are immune to Terminator movie references let me rephrase. Google is taking over the world. They have conquered the internet, and are moving into television, radio and print as we speak. Adding their advertising system to any form of media out there. I took the liberty here to point out some ideas of where they can venture next. These ideas are meant to be a humorous slant on Google's seemingly endless ideas for diversity in their business model, however, if anyone at Google is reading this, and thinks one of these ideas is good, they are for sale.

Google Hospital
This service would include a hospital or chain of hospitals offering state-of-the-art health care at no cost to the patient whatsoever. The cost would be ofset by advertising in every way imaginable. The waiting room, patient rooms, even the operating room while you are under sedation. Think about it, you go in the hospital for a colonoscopy, and during your visit you are swarmed with ads personalized for you, such as anal creams and special padded seats, and other items pertaining to your illness. You get free health care and great insight into things you were going to need to buy anyway.

Google Air

A free international airline supported by Google AdWords. You pick your destination, and fly there for free. During the flight you are advertised to with various ads pertaining to you personally, probably pertaining to your destination. It would give you the products and services of the location you are heading to. For example: Hotels, Restaurants, Movies, Entertainment, Prostitution. Sounds like it can't miss.

Google University

Tapping into the 18-25 demographic, Google U brings college eduction to anyone willing and again, for free. The catch is all the text books have adwords as well as every classroom. So while your professor lectures, Adwords will be on display behind him. The ads would mostly consist of things college aged kids buy i.e. Beer, condoms, ramen noodles and beer.

Google Brain

For you knowledge seekers out there, Google Brain offers all the knowledge in the world accessible through a chip implanted in the brain. For example: You want to know everything about pickles, you just think of pickles and through the power of the future internet and collaboration with WikiPedia you instantly have that knowledge. Sounds great right? Well, again it's free, but the chip's AdWords can tell you exactly what to buy and you basically listen because it's part of your brain. It gets kind of complicated after that.