Monday, February 26, 2007

...For Dummies Books for Dummies

I'm sure everyone has seen a ".......For Dummies" book in their lives. Have you ever seen some and wondered, "Why would you need an entire book for that." Now, I'll be honest, I've never opened one of these books up in my life. Namely, because I don't want a store clerk at Border's to think I am dumb or need a certain subject explained to me in layman's terms, which I don't. Let's examine some specific titles shall we:

Google For Dummies

Ok, I can't possibly imagine why you would need an entire book for this. Seriously, I kid you not, it is 360 Pages. How can you possibly need 360 pages to explain how to type something into a search engine. Then again, I've seen so many people type long run-on sentences into Google pretty much explaining what they are searching for. Example: "I am looking for shirts for my dog, (He is a Golden Retriever) preferably red ones but not green, fun patterns may be considered, all in all I would just like something cute for when I take him to the park." Even with that I don't see how you would need a whole entire book, maybe just a blunt force impact to the skull. Really though, the book is so long it almost makes me want to read it, because it makes me wonder if I am missing out on something cool google can do that I am not aware of. Probably not though.

Sex For Dummies

This 432 Page guide highlights the very thing that continues human existence. It was written for everyone who never bothered to pay attention to their pesky human nature their entire lives or someone who has never seen an R rated movie. I can imagine someone in their mid to late 30's, one day just sitting there and thinking to themselves, "What is this sex I keep hearing about, I would like to know more...I wonder if they make a sex for dummies book." God save the human race.

AD/HD For Dummies

The geniuses here wrote a 356 page guide to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder while totally failing to see the irony in that.

Teaching Kids to Read For Dummies

Because that is exactly who I want to teach my kids to read.

Overcoming Dislexia for Dummies

I can only imagine how that book works.

Being Vegetarian For Dummies

Having not read the book I am just going to be taking a shot in the dark here, but I'm guessing it involves not eating meat.

Rekindling Romance For Dummies

My guess is, if you need the book, it's probably safe to say it's over.

Nanotechnology For Dummies

I don't see how those two mesh well. Some things are better left to smart people. The same applies to "Trigonometry for Dummies" "Physics for Dummies" and "Organic Chemistry for Dummies"

Logic For Dummies

How illogical.

BitTorrent For Dummies

How to break copyright laws for Music and Movies with a few clicks of a mouse.

Windows 95 For Dummies

For those of us that missed the last 12 years of desktop computer innovation. Suprisingly you can still buy this book.

MySpace For Dummies

The first "For Dummies" book specifically geared towards sex predators.

GPS For Dummies

You type in your destination and await instructions.

Beekeeping for Dummies

My guess is you probably shouldn't be handling bees if you need this book.

Vampire: The Requiem For Dummies

I can't imagine a worse way to waste 20 dollars.

Running For Dummies

Are people really this dumb?

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