Thursday, July 12, 2007

The Trifecta of Evil

There is an evil among least those of us that live near the Eastwood mall complex (The largest shopping complex in the United States). I'm sure most of you have been to at least one of these three atrocities. Starbucks, Cold Stone, and Chipotle.I know you are thinking 'What could be so evil about these places hahaha'. I say to you, it's too late for you my friend, it's too late.
Let's break these places down for you shall we.


Everyone knows Starbucks, and I'm sure almost every has at one time had a beverage from there. I'm not saying they don't have good drinks, I'm just saying they are straight from hell. Think about what are you are buying from them...Bean flavored hot water...for 4 DOLLARS. Why does this make sense to some people. It costs them like 8 cents to make the drink...then they tack on 3.92 for the "Cool" factor. There I said it, people who drink Starbucks coffee think they are cool. Why else would you go there instead of going to McDonald's, Dunkin' Donuts, Gas station or for the love of God making it yourself. Seriously lame.

Cold Stone

This little gem of a store sells ice cream for exorbitant prices. HAHAH we sing songs to take your mind off of the fact you are spending what minimum wage workers make in an hour for a damn frozen dessert. It's really not that good, I've had it...once. Who the hell needs their ice cream hand mixed? Guess what, if you buy some from a grocery store it comes pre-mixed with whatever you want in it and for a A LOT cheaper and you can feed your entire block with it.


I think this place might bug me the most. The interior is God-Awful with it's industrial metallic look...stupid. Seriously, has this place ever heard of spices? or flavor for that matter, it is probably the most bland food I've ever had.

chi·pot·le -Pronunciation Key -Spelled Pronunciation[chi-poht-ley; Sp. chee-pawt-le]
a pungent red pepper, often pickled and eaten as an appetizer or added to meat stews, sauces, etc.

Weird they don't seem to be using any of those in their cooking. And why in the world do they wrap everything in aluminum foil...get the fuck out of here. They pride themselves on it because it's environmentally friendly because you can recycle it. Give me a Styrofoam dish like I want, save the environment on your own time, not on mine.

Closing Argument

If you or anyone you know goes to these places regularly let them know that if they have/are/planning to major in a business related field i.e. marketing, purchasing, accounting they might as well quit now. You just failed your Intro to Business class...ALL businesses frown on irresponsible spending and management of money, no company will ever hire you if they know you would rather pay 4 dollars for a cup of coffee than pay 79 cents at Speedway. Have fun working for the next Enron or MCI Worldcom. Idiots.

Note: I realize there is a 4Th store in that shopping area...CiCi's Pizza. Since CiCi's is delicious and very cheap (Under 5 for all you can eat buffet) I chose to leave them out of this, they are the light in that dark evil area. Besides I wouldn't have been able to say Trifecta if I included them.

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