Wednesday, January 3, 2007

My Cosmetic Surgery

As someone who is openly against cosmetic surgery for many reasons, there is one surgery that I doubt has been performed but if I had the money I would elect to have. That procedure is Extraocular Muscle Optimization. It's a very complex procedure but let me break it down for you. Basically, it adds much needed mobility to the eye muscles, i.e. being able to roll your eyes much more exaggerated. I find myself on a day in and day out basis feeling painful strain on my extraocular muscles. Pain because I try to roll my eyes further back than they were made to go; countless times a day. Now I believe everyone was made perfect, or the way God inteneded, but this was one thing that seems to have been overlooked regarding myself. I really can't complain about much else in my case except this one minor detail. I want to be able to roll my eyes more efficiently and further back than anyone else in the history of mankind and be able to do it with little to know pain at the end of the day. Is that asking much? Naturally I don't think so. Everytime someone does something stupid or something I disagree with I will be able to show them complete disapproval by giving them the eye rolls of eye rolls. Imaginge the ramifications of such a surgery, someone does something stupid, you make them feel infinitely worse with your dramatic eye rolls and they cease to do something like that ever again. Sounds like a win-win to me. Frankly, I don't see how no one else has ever though of this. I mean, I know I'm a genius but this is truly groundbreaking. Now all I have to do is fund this project and let the hilarity ensue.


Terry Bayer said...

Haha, not a bad idea! If such a procedure did in fact exist, it might even change some people’s lives. The truth is that cosmetic surgery doesn’t always have to be about vanity. Some people get it to look better; some people get it done out of necessity, or for medical reasons. Think of it more as an improvement rather than just an addition to something; cosmetic surgery enhances people, and enhances lives.

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